The Cost Of Denial
by shimmerinstars
Summary: Dean tries a different dating app and this time spends the night with a beautiful woman. But the following morning the mark which Dean denies is responsible for his increasingly hostile behavior, often times directed at Sam, raises its ugly head again.


****Disclaimer:** **Not mine.

**AN: **Pre mid-Season finale. Thanks to Jedisapphire for the beta.

**Summary: **Dean tries a different dating app and this time spends the night with a beautiful woman. But the following morning the mark which Dean denies is responsible for his increasingly hostile behavior, often directed at Sam, raises its ugly head again.

o0o

Dean arrived back at the motel early the following morning expecting to find Sam there and to do some gloating. But instead he found the place empty.

Guessing his brother was out on one of his walks or to pick up breakfast Dean grabbed some clothes to shower. But the sound of a car pulling up out front got his attention. Peeking out the window Dean was shocked to see Sam climb out of the passenger seat and his jaw literally dropped when the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen stepped out of the driver's side. Dean watched as they chatted for a moment but moved away from the window when they began to say their goodbyes to give Sam his privacy.

o0o

"You can close your mouth now Dean," Sam said pleased to be the one gloating for a change.

"How?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"I met her at the diner, when I went to pick up my..."

"No," Dean cut him off. "I mean how, in that, you're not even in her league."

"This coming from the guy who used a dating app," Sam countered.

"Well at least I didn't come with a warning, date at your own risk."

Dean's comment caught Sam off-guard and it stung momentarily.

"She was hot!" Dean emphasized strongly. "Smoking hot and those legs!"

"Her name is Donna," Sam humanized her.

"Why she had anything to do with you is what I can't figure out."

Sam absorbed the condescending jab, recognizing the mark as the source of Dean's changing behavior.

"So things must have gone well on your date," Sam tried to distract his brother to derail what was coming. "You didn't come home last night."

"Maybe Donna will be the lucky one since you're leaving town," Dean wasn't letting up.

"What exactly does that mean?" Sam asked, wishing he hadn't, knowing he was only adding fuel to his brother's increasing hostility .

"Come on Sammy. How many women is it now?"

"Don't go there," Sam pleaded trying to stay calm.

"But I need to know Sammy. How many woman are dead because you cared about them?"

Sam went silent.

But Dean kept talking.

"Lets count them. First we had Jessica. Sweet and innocent Jessica..."

"Shut up!" Sam yelled with a booming force, the hurt in his voice and on his face snapping Dean out of the mark's hold and its building rage.

"Sammy," Dean, wide-eyed, himself again instinctively reached for his brother. "I'm sorry that wasn't me. I don't know what happened."

"Yeah, you do know Dean," Sam pulled away. "You just keep choosing, to deny it." Grabbing some clothes from his duffel Sam left to shower slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Dean needing to do something, anything, decided to grab them some coffee and breakfast at the nearby Deli. He left a note telling Sam where he'd gone along with another apology, feeling they could talk this out when he got back.

But when Dean returned he found Sam and his things gone and on the back of the note he'd left, Sam had written his own, "I know it wasn't you Dean. But I just can't be around you now. See you back at the bunker. Sam."

Dean stared at the words his brother wrote. It hurt that Sam couldn't be around him. It hurt to his very core. Dean knew at that moment he had to stop denying the mark had a strong hold on him and do what Sam had wanted to do for weeks. To put their heads together and not stop searching until they found a way to remove or disable this tattoo and be free of it once and for all.

Dean picked up his cell and called Sam. It went straight to voice mail which didn't surprise him but it cut all the same. "Sammy," Dean spoke. "I'm not denying what's going on any more. I don't want it to get to the point where I push you so far away, you might not want to come back. So let's do it. Lets find a way to get rid of this ugly ass tattoo."

o0o

Dean climbed down the steps of the bunker and found his brother in the Library going through some files.

"You got here fast."

"I was lucky, got picked up right away."

"You know hitch hiking can be dangerous Sammy. You could get hurt or worse."

"I can take care of myself Dean. Besides I think the risk of that happening was higher riding with you."

"Okay," Dean, stunned momentarily by the remark, conceded. "I deserved that."

"No you didn't," Sam said teary-eyed, catching the hurt look on his brother's face, yet still reeling from his cruelty this morning. "I know you're not to blame. It's just... "

"I know. and I'm sorry," Dean said unable to keep from tearing up himself knowing the many times Sam had been the target of his rage, and that it had to stop.

"Did you get my message?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded he had.

"I meant every word of it."

"I know you did Dean."

"So, you're not thinking of going anywhere are you?"

"No!" Sam eyed his brother perplexed. "Sorry to tell you this big brother, but you're stuck with me."

A relieved Dean smiled," I think I can deal with that."


End file.
